He Walked With Me

My coffee was half-cold by the time I (Brittany) finished my tirade of all the things I was feeling. I sat back as Bruce nodded quietly, taking in all the wrestles I had shared. Bruce was my go-to guy for spiritual wisdom – wise, experienced, and always pointing me back to Jesus. “Those are some good questions,” he told me. “Hard questions. Wrestling with them is good. I wonder what you’re afraid it says about you?”

Twenty minutes and plenty of stream-of-consciousness later my words ran out again – but something had shifted, too. I leaned forward, and asked my mentor, “How are you?”

And then something remarkable happened: he answered, honestly and vulnerably. He shared his current struggles, not just past ones wrapped up with a neat spiritual bow.

He walked with me, instead of simply explaining life to me.

Like many young people seeking mentorship, I’d met with older adults who preferred to offer advice rather than walk the journey with me. If their stories included struggles, they were often long resolved. Conversations with Bruce were different; he walked with me, instead of simply explaining life to me.

Insights from Scripture

Reflecting on Scripture, we noted how frequently God identified the dignity and potential of young adults and paired them with someone further along. Think of Esther, who many believe became Queen in her teens, or King David anointed at 15, or John Mark in his mid-teens. Imagine the teens and twenty-somethings Jesus picked! If Mordechai can walk with Esther, if Samuel can anoint David, if Barnabas can stand with a young unreliable disciple, and if Jesus can recruit that band of unpredictable characters, all of us who lead nonprofits at various levels, should take heart, follow course, and honor these future leaders.

They have much to teach us.

Three Pillars

Through our journey, we identified three pillars that help us walk together: ask questions, honor others’ questions, and share our authentic selves. Bruce happened to live out these pillars in that coffee shop. These three pillars foster the kind of mentor relationships longed for by the next generation.

1. Ask Questions

Did you know that many believe Jesus asked over 300 questions in the gospels, but only answered three? So often, we think that we need to have all the answers, all the explanations – which means we do most of the talking. But when we ask questions of the next generation, we show our genuine value for their thoughts and insight, and we give them handholds to consider themselves and the world from new vantage points.

So often, we think that we need to have all the answers...

One of the most important question areas surrounds identity. When we can help the next generation explore who God has made them – both their core, unchangeable identity as a beloved saint and child of God, and their unique identity that God has particularly crafted in them – we give them an incredible gift.

Young adults can receive significant clarity around their unique identity earlier than many expect. Helping them begin asking God about this identity, and then walking with them as they move into living out of that identity, is an incredible honor.

2. Honor Their Questions

On the flipside, if we want to gain the trust of anyone who is wrestling, especially the next generation, we need to honor their questions. The path of Jesus is wonderful, mysterious and complex. When we give rote answers to complex, nuanced questions, it’s like standing on shore and shouting at someone who is drowning to “try swimming.” Christ does deep work in our wrestle, and giving simplistic answers dishonors the journey.

On the other hand, some of us get defensive when hard or audacious questions are asked. We want to shut down that line of thinking immediately because it scares us. In this case we essentially leave someone out at sea – alone. As a licensed counselor, I (Brittany) can tell you that most psychological issues come from experiencing hard emotions alone.

Instead, we can help them learn how to wrestle. How to ask questions. How to seek answers. We get into the churning, murky waters of their struggles with them, saying, “I know the swells look so high, and you’re right, this is really hard. But I’m with you. I’m here, too. We’ll swim this together.”

3. Share Your Authentic Self

So often, especially when walking with the next generation, we try to present a nice, put-together picture. “Do things this way, and you will be healthy, wealthy and wise – just like me!” But that’s not just a falsehood – it’s damaging. It perpetuates the idea that one day, they’re going to arrive. One day, they’ll no longer fear or question or struggle.

So, when they do struggle, they wonder why they aren’t farther along. They’ll hide. They’ll pretend they’re doing better than they are. They’ll beat themselves up and agree with the shaming voice of the enemy that there must be something uniquely wrong with them.

You know what might protect them from this spiral too many of us have gone down? Truth. I (Bruce) often feel afraid, or angry, or deeply confused. If I pretend otherwise, what am I doing? I’m lying. When I open up about who I really am, what my real-life, here-and-now struggles are, I invite those in the next generation to see that I, too, am an apprentice under Jesus. I, too, am still figuring out this wild kingdom life. And so I, too, will understand when they have bad days, new struggles, and seasons of doubt. “Don’t worry, my friend,” I can say truthfully, “I walk these roads, too. Perhaps you can help me see some of the pitfalls ahead, and I’ll try to help you, too. We can walk them together.”

Generations Together

Do you know what all three of these pillars have in common? Humility. As we dwell on the magnitude of what Christ has done for us, it will naturally lead us to a place of deep humility – trusting God and others with us. From that open-handed posture, we can both give and receive guidance from other generations. And we can navigate into the future –together.

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Brittany Sawrey-Coulson is Trueface’s Director of Content, a licensed counselor, sharpshooter, harpist, and co-author of The Path releasing in 2025, Brittany’s passion is to see young adults freed into their true identity in Christ. God has used the wisdom, global vision, and business skills of Trueface’s founding partner Dr. Bruce McNicol and co-author of The Cure, The Ascent, and Bo’s Café to offer break-through experiences of God's grace for many thousands around the world.

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